After dedicating years of service at a matchmaking company, Arini tries to piece together her mysterious past and memories of a former client. And if youre looking for a bicycle, its a great deal. Shes gonna overinflate him. And we decided on a date that we would do it, and we decided to do it from the Punchline here in Atlanta in front of a live crowd, and it was really fun. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. Its not like if I told youthe story without saying that, youd have gone, That was very short and happened a long time ago. Hes a more believably real-life incarnation of The Beverly Hillbillies, growing up poor in dusty, rural Texas, only to strike it rich in comedy, and move in with his newest wife into a home theyve built in Beverly Hills. I dont care one way or another. What is the Spanish language plot outline for Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018)? How about a sobriety contest? Ill come back over and pay you. This is what he says: Well, those dont look like the socks of a man who would steal an egg. Yeah, they sure the fuck dont. 'Citadel' Episode Guide: When Do New Episodes Premiere on Prime Video? You and her were standing in the kitchen and looked at that lime. Copyright Fandango. So Ive just driven from Dallas to Sacramento to make $400. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up My friend told me the other day that he wouldnt give his wife head unless she just came out of the shower, and I told him Ill give my wife head if she just came out of the gym. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef taste like boo boot leather. [whispering] Charming. And I am an idea man, too. 1,911, This story has been shared 1,802 times. I was mad when I first saw it. And I wet the bed! And Im like, Me too! And I never told him. It was a story about a town in the Middle East where, by law by law, the women who live in this town have to wear burkas with one eyehole. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity rating: 12 | 1h 3m | Stand-up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Im like, Theyre gonna know. You gotta kill the duck to get the duck meat. 2,003, This story has been shared 1,911 times. Now I live in Beverly Hills in a house my wife and I just built, and I was doing an interview the other day, and this guy asked me, Has it changed you? Um, Im from a very, very small dusty town in northwest Texas, and I grew up in this little bitty house that was built by my father and my grandfather the year I was born, 1956. I dont have another eight goddamn dollars. And I called the front desk in a panic. Great big, old big uns. Here's When It Returns With New Episodes, Drew Barrymore Halts Segment After "Severely Old" Mac and Cheese Noodle Flies off Her Desk: "It's Rock Hard". And not the fuzzy sweater, lovable slurring kind of drunk uncle, either. And, uh this is a story my mother told me I should do on stage. Bain de Soleil sunless tanning lotion for dark skin only, and apparently I was getting down, cause it was on my nipples and the inside of my thigh. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Ladies, if you dont like the way the cooch is looking, before you go do something that extreme, try this. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. You were right! Probably a big glass of tea with a big slice of lemon. Im not gay, but I have these moments. I would have missed the boat if I was in the porno business right there. His answers are crass. And the guys over there still think theyre hot. Thats all they sell. That Yale snob fucking piece of shit, fucked me out of so goddamn much money. [high-pitched] Thats all. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Id have said, Aint nobody gonna pay to watch fat midgets fuck fat midgets. Bullshit, theres a sequel. And I dont need a new mugshot cause my last one was so good. What kind of balls does it take to put the word corral on the name of your fucking restaurant? Boy, do they know that demographic! Its got 750 yards on it. Cause were looking for a gag gift, and if that doesnt gag her, I dont know what were going to use, cause its gotta be something big, you tell me. And I was there with a woman I couldnt stand eventually. My fucking life is over. Im like, What do I even do? A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Streaming Schedule, Season 5, Part 2 Debut Info, 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc. All rights reserved, Stream It Or Skip It: 'John Mulaney: Baby J' On Netflix, The Stand-Up Comedian's Post-Rehab Return To Center Stage, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Alex Borstein: Corsets & Clown Suits' On Prime Video, Mrs. Maisel's Manager Takes The Stage To Sing And Sling Jokes, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Louis C.K. But I know if I wake her up trying to have sex with her, shell hit me in the face with a bucket of nickels I just spotted on the nightstand. Thats what they say. lindsey? Thats the whole plan. And I did these shows in London, and they dont play my stuff on television in London. And the way he found out he didnt wet the bed, is he lived in Round Rock, Texas, and I hadnt really seen him in years, and I was doing this radio station and I told that story, and he called the radio station, You fucking pissed on me? Im not gonna do it. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. I couldnt fucking breathe. Ill walk back. I dont mean to seem ungrateful, but I got shit to do, Jeff. Watch Ron White: If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up on Netflix, This story has been shared 41,150 times. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef taste like boot leather. A goose is the only animal on the planet could take a jetliner out of the fucking sky and make it land on the Hudson River. *****************************************************************************Donate belowYour contributions help support the channel!https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=376E-66mSO9HVNOKHNfR6XaKkMJJ11H_3hh8b15mFOUQcpHHDeBUDuuMYQwlvkjM9gARI0\u0026country.x=CA\u0026locale.x=******************************************************************************Needing Assistance to Create/Host your Website, check out blue host below:https://www.bluehost.com/track/phlavaFind the Perfect freelance services for your business eg) logo design and branding, dropshipping, illustrations, clothing design, business cards, t-shirt designhttps://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrcpaFor Fiverr Logo Design:https://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrhybrid\u0026landingPage=https%3A%2F%2Fdiscover.fiverr.com%2Flogo-design-7%2FFor Fiverr Social Media Design:https://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrhybrid\u0026landingPage=https%3A%2F%2Fdiscover.fiverr.com%2Fsocial-media-grid-design-2%2FFor Fiverr Animated intro Video:https://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrhybrid\u0026landingPage=https%3A%2F%2Fdiscover.fiverr.com%2F%3Fs%3DAnimated%2BIntro%2Bvideo Verified reviews are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Watch Ron White only on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/in/title/80244900Follow NETFLIX IS A JOKE:Facebook: www.facebook.com/NetflixIsAJokeTwitter: www.twitter.com/NetflixIsAJokeInstagram: www.instagram.com/NetflixIsAJokeSUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/29qBUt7About Netflix:Netflix is the world's leading internet entertainment service with 130 million memberships in over 190 countries enjoying TV series, documentaries and feature films across a wide variety of genres and languages. One of these treatments is a thing called anal bleaching. Just his torso, blood coming out of it and just Chris Hemsworth kind of I dont want to pinch his nipples or anything. Regal They just like to watch. And I double snotted my own fucking television. We wont be able to verify your ticket today, but its great to know for the future. I could piss like a fucking fire hydrant. White, meanwhile, has survived both divorce and divorce lawyers, and has put a lot of thought into drunk-driving checkpoints, the handsomeness of Chris Hemsworth, and the radical terrorist Canadian geese.. Now I dont know if they have a color in mind when they start, or if you just bleach it and get whatever the fuck you get. [inaudible] [shouting] Whats it look like now? I fucking hate em. They all look like fucking tents. By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. Im all over it, dude. And The Comedy Store in LA is a really pretty big place. Over 15 million albums, not including the millions and millions of Blue Collar albums you guys bought. ", Stream It Or Skip It: 'Moonage Daydream' on HBO Max, a David Bowie Biography That's More Sensual Experience than Documentary, Personality Crisis: One Night Only Finds Punk Pioneer David Johansen Recounting His Many Lives, Stream It Or Skip It: 'The Legacy of J Dilla' on FX/Hulu, Exploring The Life, Beats, And Career Of The Late Hip-Hop Hero, Stream It Or Skip It: Little Richard: I Am Everything on VOD, A Biodoc As Vibrant As Its Subject, The Peter Pan & Wendy Sea Shanty Is An Ear Worm That Will Haunt Your Dreams, Stream It Or Skip It: 'Peter Pan and Wendy' on Disney+, Director David Lowery's Lightly Visionary Disney Rehash, Where Was Peter Pan and Wendy Filmed? We dont even want it. While I was in Canada shooting a fucking pilot! When my dog gets out of the yard, gets in the street, hes like, Oh fuck! Black and Pecker, Peterbilt, Johnson & Johnson and Johnson. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. Literally, people come from all over the world to buy stuff for their shops, and my wife said, My friends having a shower. Well, Bills doing one show at the big Forum down at Caesars, and were doing three shows a night in a smaller room. I dont know if it just looks tired or sad, or worried about something it cant do anything about. Always has been. Did you hear that? Did you just wake me up to ask me if I heard something? She goes, Listen, Ron. Maybe a half a sandwich and a soup. Link to Are You There God? You ever notice nobody ever dies when you wish they would? I could not possibly care any less. Netflix Ron 'Tater Salad' White is bringing his classic story-telling style of standup special, 'If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up,' to Netflix this week, and he is surely going to get you laughing your guts off. Squirrels. 1,410, This story has been shared 1,216 times. Ill show you dick.. This befuddled me. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. The one I saw was called, Its Just Lunch, and what they do is they just hook people up, and they have lunch, broad daylight, right in the middle of the day. Ive got go get a six-pack of beer and a frozen pizza. He goes, Well, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer, and I said, Well, heres the bad news, Hoss. 1,216, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window), Does 'Yellowstone' Return Tonight? And thats about a 45-second task with me at 18 years old. Thank you very much. Not two eyeholes like those other sluts. Joe Rogan with Ron White on Dane Cook, Carlos Mencia & Stealing Jokes From Comedians! I think it brings out the flavor. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. Lukas Matsson's Tweet Explained. Coming Soon. There were porno movies everywhere, but the porno movie that caught my eye was called Fat Midgets Fucking Fat Midgets Two. All rights reserved. Filming Locations for the Disney+ Movie, Alexander Molony Is the Perfect Blend of Charming and Naive in Disney+s Peter Pan & Wendy, What Does "Doderick Macht Frei" on 'Succession' Mean? Nobody wants to talk about it but me. White I was always going to tell you if I ever met you that when my father was alive, you were his favorite comedian by far. I said, Thank you very much for telling me that, man. Do you have any advice, Mr. White? Now, Id just got off the ugliest phone call Ive ever had with my wife, and it was about that house, and part of that house was gonna be a rehearsal space for her band, and while I was shooting a pilot in Vancouver, it turned into a 24-track recording studio. After dedicating years of service at a matchmaking company, Arini tries to piece together her mysterious past and memories of a former client. Hes still having too much fun. This happened last Wednesday at The Comedy Store in LA. Moxy and her colorful friends leave Uglyville on a quest to find a kid to love. No other animal crosses the road with this kind of fucking poise. Two years ago, White co-starred in Cameron Crowes one-and-done season of Roadies for Showtime. Maybe a salad and a sandwich. And You Might Be A Redneck had been the number one-selling comedy album in the country for a year and a half. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 Directed by Tom Forrest Synopsis Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Were just gonna have lunch. And now when I approach a toilet, and the lid doesnt automatically open, I just piss all over the top of it. And every year SiriusXM does a live broadcast from there. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. Thats it. What? I dont sleep very well. Just lunch. Television?. '", Ana Navarro Jokes About Sara Haines' White House Correspondents' Dinner Antics on 'The View': "Maybe There Will Be a Restraining Order", Sunny Hostin Opens Up About Receiving Hurtful Emails on The View: Im Not Liked By Half The Country, Sunny Hostin Shades Meghan McCain for Scathing Column About 'The View': "Our Show Is a Wonderful Place". Nobody would give a shit. I wouldnt do it. Whats the record? The way they cross the street right in front of fucking cars with that weird-ass confidence. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. That aint drunk at all. I was doing a meet and greet the other day right after a show, this young guy goes, When my girlfriend comes back from vacation with her parents, Im going to ask her to marry me. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter Fuck it. He goes, I want you to stand on one foot, raise the other foot No, bullshit. It was so fucking funny. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. You cant fix stupid. Now Ive never walked in the doors of this place, and I dont know exactly what theyre up to, but apparently some people are really unhappy with the color of the old bunghole. But oddly enough, I do have a suggestion for this. If you tilt that a little bit, you can get it through that door. Itll be fun. Im like, All right, lets go. And it was unbelievable, huge, all the big dildo companies were there, uh. See how much funner it is to say? Great big old, big old, big uns. From the big lip to the little lip, right over the clit, tuck in the meat curtains if you got em. Geese started flying through the engines of that jet. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. This conversation got so goddamn out of hand. Youre still going to hop in that motherfucker. Id give you half my shit right now, but I dont make up the rules.. Hes the drunk uncle of the group. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. Not because they try to say something funny. He always believed in my talent, but not my work ethic. So if youre ever in Beverly Hills on Sunday night, go to the Four Seasons. [distorted] Wagyu beef taste like boot leather. I really do. That guy cant drive my fucking car. I ran, um I ran for president of the United States, and I dont think I won, because nobodys called and I quit watching television. And I wear wild socks, and So Im having breakfast in this restaurant across the street from the hotel Im staying in, by myself, and I finish with my meal, I realize I dont have any money. Ill tell you how the conversation ended, and then youll know how it went. And I think thats why they marry so many of them. Its almost like theres a clown there. Im 61 years old now, and I know two things to be true. You cant fix stupid. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018| Maturity Rating:TV-MA | 1h 3m| Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up TV Special 2018 1h 3m IMDb RATING 6.6 /10 892 YOUR RATING Rate Play trailer 0:24 1 Video 2 Photos Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up opens with soundbites from White's previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and fortune has changed. First big gig we did together was the first week in December 1996 at the MGM Grand in Vegas. No sabemos si las ancdotas son ciertas o es todo parte de la rutina, pero sea como fuere, la balanza se inclina 3 a 0 a favor, razn por la cual tens que ver este especial ;)Hasta el prximo episodio Gracias por ver! [squawk] Bites me on the fucking leg. And you know why theyre having so much fun? And three hours after I met this chick, Im laying on my back going, [tightly] This bitch is crazy. And I was right. I know theyre perfectly content to live the way they do. Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. Cats die when they touch the road. Fuck, dude. The motherfucker! If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up opens with soundbites from Whites previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and fortune has changed him. 13,103, This story has been shared 7,786 times. I go back up to the room and shes passed out, in this negligee, and shes fucking gorgeous. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Cause there aint no goddamn women there. Im not, and its not fair to me, because Im older, Im not in that great of shape. My platform was a little different than our presidents platform. A Tourists Guide to Love Filming Locations: Where Was the Rachael Leigh Cook Movie Filmed? My pizza is done. He didnt say that. Thanks for playing our game. And when I was in Edinburgh, I realized that the Scots made me laugh harder than anybody. Well, I would marry ya, but I cant! An action packed stay in rehab. Im the reluctant watchdog. Call 9-1-1 or something. This is what this DJ says to me: Ron Every time a celebrity calls our station, we always ask the same question: If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be? And I said Living. And he tried to explain it to me. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! Yeah! Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up. Thats delicious. Ill get some money. Im in my car, all intimidated. Get a dress the size of a fucking barn and come on back to the Golden Corral. [mooing] They call it Golden Corral, of course, because somebody was already using the name Ye Olde Fat Fuckery. I dont know how strong they were. Where Was 'John Mulaney: Baby J' on Netflix Filmed? For all New peeps to my channel, plz like and Subscribe and hit that Notification bell for Future Videos.Weekly. Im out of here. Find out where to watch on Netflix, Prime, Hulu & 40+ others Put down that ketchup and drop that toddler. Whiskey and ice cubes. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Im sure youre grateful. There are no featured reviews for Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up because the movie has not released yet (). Charming. It's Me, Margaret. You let me think, I went my whole life, that Id pissed in Joe Paines fucking bunk bed?, So my wife and I, we both tour extensively, and, uh she bought us two dogs, which, you know, just makes touring easier if you have a couple of dogs to drag with you on all those flights, and she bought us two French Bulldogs. 1:03:21. Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. Im like, Im through it. A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. Cause were scared to fucking death of geese. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Or any. But for our purposes, as well as the inner workings of how show business actually still works or doesnt pay off for most comedians, the most telling part comes when White talks money. Youre not even trying? See production, box office & company info, Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road, The Hall: Honoring the Greats of Stand-Up, : , . I dont know if you know. These two comics dont have any money. Theyre not natural. And I asked the guy, I said How much are the dildos? And he goes, [angrily] Theyre not dildos, theyre personal massagers. All right. No, no, White proudly proclaims on his fifth stand-up comedy special, and first for Netflix, that at 61, hes a raging alcoholic.. Nobody gives a shit. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 16+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.
ron white if you quit listening i'll shut up transcript